Seeing how I'm currently in Rural MN for the 4th of July weekend, I thought this was fitting (an old email forward that makes me laugh every time):
You're from Rural MN if:
1. You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the ceremony and the reception. Happens all the time in "rural" MN and it actually annoys me...... I think its kind of rude to your guests to make them sit around for an hour or two after a wedding while you go bar hopping.
2. You know how to polka, but never tried it sober. I don't know how to polka well but I've been sober when I have attempted it. :-) My dad can do a mean polka I'm told.
3. You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means. Yup - this statement refers to corn.
4. You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday. I don't remember my 3rd birthday but I'm certain I did get a miniature snow shovel at some point as a child and liked it.
5. You can recognize someone from Iowa by their driving. Or license plate.
6. You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm. My dad says "If its not at Fleet Farm, you don't need it."
7. You spent more on beer than you did on food at your wedding. This wouldn't be hard - booze is expensive and people drink more than they eat!
8. You hear someone use the word 'oof-dah' and you do not immediately break into uncontrollable laughter. Yeah, duh.
9. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph. I try to avoid hitting deer at all costs - my aunt Cheryl however needs a deer catcher on the front of her van.
10. You or someone you know was a 'Dairy Princess' at a county fair. Not me, but I knew one or two.
11. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter. HA! I'm not THAT stupid. I've seen "A Christmas Story".
12. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions. There's more? Oh right, the Baptists.
13. Football, Deer Hunting & Opening Fishing schedules are checked before wedding dates are set. Or the harvest schedule.... or horse shows thanks to my in laws.
14. Saturday you go to the local bowling alley. Cuz there was nothing else to do. We usually went to the metropolis of Rochester and "cruised" Broadway. OMG we were lame.
15. There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning. LOTS of kids in my class helped milk cows morning and night.
16. You have driven your car on a lake. Hell to the no! I draw the line.
17. You can make sense out of the words 'upnort' and 'battree'. Uh huh.
18. You always believed that vacation meant 'going up North.' We never went on vacation when I was a kid, but going "up north" meant 1. going to my Uncle Merlin's or 2. the zoo. And yes that was a vacation.
19. At every wedding you have been to you have had to dance the hokey poky and the chicken dance. Or the Macarena.
20. Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar. My parents' town has TWO directly across the street from each other. So there.
21. The local gas station sells live bait. Duh.
22. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. Usually it was the garage - nothing like dead deer carcasses hanging about.
23. Your mom asks, 'Were you born in a barn?' and you know exactly what she means. Ha!
24. You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday. Thankfully deer season wasn't a national holiday in our immediate family - aunts and uncles are another story.....
25. Pop is not only what you call your dad, but is the ONLY name for soda. And casserole is hot dish. Mkay?
Any more to add? How about:
26. You had to buy your Halloween costumes 2 sizes too big so the snow suit would fit under them. :-)